Thunder Pie Q & A (Vol. 1)

Feb 09, 2024

Here it is, the very first Q & A Session with myself that I’ve ever hosted. Hahaha. If that seems a bit whack to you, well, imagine how I feel. However, I’m really happy that I did it because I wanted to celebrate three years of Thunder Pie (!!!) in a new way. So, I thought opening up the floor to readers who might have a question (or 10) for me might actually be fun.

What I surely didn’t anticipate was that I would receive as many questions as I did. That is a very cool problem to have, don’t get me wrong, but there was just a lot more than I was prepared for. So, I am making this Part 1; I had to; I simply ran out of time trying to answer everyone’s questions thoughtfully and truthfully.

There will be a Part 2.

Maybe next week. Having some bona fide interaction between me and you feels nice for a change. It’s not as cool as a Thunder Pie Writer’s Retreat Weekend or a Thunder Pie River Cruise or whatever, but whatever.

It’s a start, you know?

Enjoy.

Serge

*****

When and where do you write most frequently?

Brian

I do almost all of my writing in my bedroom at a small army-issue desk. An old friend gave it to me long and it just kind of became what I use. I do my writing in my bedroom because it’s a room with some real vibe and one of the only spaces in this house we live in where kids haven’t left there territorial pissings and messes and all. I mostly write on Tuesday or Wednesday and then add photos and ‘What I Liked This Week’ and any other notes at the end on Thursday after work. Big shout out to Arle Bielanko for really shining as my editor. If I had to do that as well, none of this would work.

*****

As a musician-on-somewhat-indefinite-hiatus myself, my question is: do you miss making music? Not the band necessarily, but that particular creative process; songwriting; sitting with a guitar and just strumming some favorite tunes (and it’s obviously an assumption that you don’t pick up the guitar based on your weekly communiques). I also know that as a creative individual with a life outside your art that you’ve only got so much to give to your art and need to be a bit choosy about where those energies go. I don’t do my music much at all anymore, my energy going into theater and film stuff.

Curious to hear your thoughts,

Tom C.

Awesome question and a very fair one for any artist to ask another. The short answer is yes. And no. Ha. I miss the electrified feeling of standing in the middle of a jet engine and having Friday night blowing through you on the stage/ covered in sweat/ a hundred good people staring at you/ feeling your vibe/ giving you theirs. I guess I miss the collective intensity of our actual live music going down in a club sometimes. But I don’t miss the individual elements of making music all that much. I think that I realized I was done with writing songs because I stopped writing them. Simple as that, really. I didn’t do it consciously. It just happened.

I dig your line about your energy going into theater and film now instead of music. I get that so much. I really understand it. It seems very okay to me. It seems healthy to move into other artistic realms later in life. I’m so glad I was able to find writing the way I did.

*****

I really think you have a very unique way of seeing the world and I have been wondering where you get your inspiration. I know this is a lame question but what kind stuff makes you tick?

Marko

This is a very nice thing for you to say and I’m flattered as fuck. Thank you! Of course, I have no real idea how to answer such an insightful question. The most I can offer is this. I don’t enjoy things that feel fabricated or false or inauthentic. I like soul and raw emotion and I like fearlessness in ways that push humanity a little bit further in the right direction… away from the hordes of sheep-y assholes born to bring you down. To me: there is nothing better than real laughter/ red wine/ one vital person in your world/ kids playing in a summer creek/ and old school jazz playing in the kitchen. I tick the most when I’m by myself or with Arle. I’m not a big community/friends guy. Both are truly important to a wonderful life, but not necessarily for me. Old things inspire me. Unique original art makes me happy. Love is everything. Hurting people on purpose is a sign you are broken bad inside.

*****

Did you ever consider writing a novel?

John

Not really. I love novels more than any other art form. The best long fiction, I hold it in the highest possible regard. It doesn’t seem possible for me to operate in that arena. I’ve never written much fiction outside of songs, so I wouldn’t even know where to begin. But thanks for asking that. It’s a worthwhile question and one I wish I could just answer yes to.

*****

Pineapple on pizza, yay or nay?

- Anna

Fuck.

No.

*****

Serge -your writing - it really feels like a gift and I am forever grateful to have found you. you produce the feels - All the time and your words & what you do with them remind me of a Dylan song. keep on keeping on

Gena

Gena, thank you so much. People who send small-time artists (like me) messages like this: I hope you someday know just how uplifting and powerful it is to read the words of a stranger saying wonderful things (or even slightly nice things) about your work. I am always radically grateful for every single person who has written me across the years about Marah, or Babble, or old Thunder Pie, or this new Thunder Pie. It is just everything to know that someone cares about your art. It is priceless. It feels like eternal life for, like, a whole day after you read it. Thank you, Gena. Thank you everyone who has ever written to me to say you dig something I created.

*****

How many subscribers do you have now? Or is that too personal to ask?

Kate

Hmmm. Well, I suppose a bit of mystery adds to the allure. But at the same time I’m not pretending that I’ve got big numbers by any stretch. What I have found that I have is a steadily growing group of smart, curious people who seem to come from various backgrounds and places, but who all know me either from my time in the band or from stumbling into my writing somehow. And that is so deeply satisfying to me: that I could start this Substack and have a good number of both paid and free subscribers. As of today: I have about 700 total subscribers. I have more Free ones than Paid, obviously, but I’m optimistic that I can keep growing both camps as long as I write my ass off. Fingers crossed.

*****

How the hell do you carve out time to write with 5 kids in the house? It's impressive and cool that you're able to get in the headspace to be creative, I can't seem to do it with just one. It's awesome you prioritize that. Give us advice on how to steal our time back!

Meghan

Ooooh. This is a good one. And a really difficult one to explain. For me personally, I hit a bad mental health wall three/ four years ago. Depression and anxiety were destroying my head and my heart. I went through a lot of personal shit and was feeling extremely disowned in ways I never thought possible. The writing, the idea of writing again and doing it in a way that would hold me responsible to people because they were paying me to write, that was the leap of faith I had to take. But I also knew at the time that it very well might not work. Like almost all artists who aren’t born with a trust fund, I have known a lot of years/decades of making art with all of my heart while barely making any money at all. In the end, my gamble paid off enough for me to have the people I needed to hold my creative feet to the fire. I write now because I NEED to for my mental health and I HAVE to in order to fulfill the obligations I have to a bunch of folks who kindly pay me for each week’s work. And that has become a major part of my survival (and my family’s survival).

So I can’t say meh. I can’t skip it. And in a weird way, not having that option with art makes me want to do it better than I did last week. I’m hungrier, maybe, because there’s more at stake than ever before and it’s all on my shoulders and no one elses.

That said, I have to write when the kids are at school. It is the only possible way!

*****

Why did you withdraw from Marah? I realize that there must certainly be a financial element to it, perhaps the realization that you were never going to get farther up the ladder of success than you'd already gotten, there would never be anything like financial stability. But I've gotten the sense that there's a lot more to it, issues perhaps revolving around your relationship with your brother. Maybe this is not anything you want to write about and put out there in the public domain, in which case just put this question in the Shitcan. But you asked if I have any questions, and this is the question I have.

Bill

Fair question, especially since I know that there are so many folks who support Thunder Pie who also remain interested in the music we made and what the future of the band is. Here are my thoughts in a nutshell, which is the only way I can imagine presenting them other than a full blown series of essays or maybe even a book or maybe even a Hollywood film starring Ray Winstone as Serge Bielanko.

I withdrew from being in the band because it was the right thing for me to do. The time was right for me to move on, to experience a life that wasn’t super enmeshed in other people’s lives via the band or even surrounding the band at an uncomfortable proximity. Truth is: I never ever imagined that I would be a musician forever because I never wanted to be that. I never dreamed of that. Some people may think that being in a rock/roll band is a dream come true, and it is in so many ways/ don’t get me wrong. But it is also a very treacherous wilderness where you end up either eating the people you were laughing with yesterday or you hurl yourself into the jaws of a starving grizzly just to relieve yourself of the burden of being strapped to something bad for you that was once good for you.

To me: the band I was in when I was in my 20s and 30s… that was the band I wanted to be in in this life. But growing older didn’t seem to fit that band. Not the way I saw it anyway. And I still feel strongly about that.

My memories of playing in Marah are mostly spectacular, especially as time seems to dull away the realities of harder moments. But still, my memories aren’t all great ones by any stretch. And I’d be lying if I said that everything is magical when you’re in a hungry unknown band far from home with no money in your wallet and you’re getting older. Because that isn’t magical to me anymore. It’s a recipe for mental health disaster. So, yeah. I walked away because I wanted a new life. And I got it. I have no regrets about the past. But I know I made the right choice for me.

*****

How does the song writing process differ from writing longer form non-fiction?

Anna

Well, I’d say that the biggest difference is that with songs you are writing two separate things: the music and the lyrics. Whereas with Thunder Pie, I am writing words that have music/tempo/tone/melody baked in. It all happens at once without having to match anything up. I really love that about writing as opposed to songwriting. I really love the feeling of the total sense of uninterrupted immersion I get from the freedom of just swimming in one stream as opposed to swimming in two.

*****

Say, so a lot of times I don't have time to read your entire piece right away. Are they meant to be read all at once or in bits and pieces?

Also, how are you doing w the depression? Let's just say I do NOT like January.

Lisa

Brilliant question. I think from a writer’s standpoint I’d say that I hope you can read what I’ve written all in one sitting or whatever. But I also understand (from my own experience) that life is mad busy and reading takes a deep backseat to skimming and scrolling. So I’m all for you reading me however it works best for you. My stuff isn’t super comprehensive or anything. You can come and go as you deem fit.

This winter has sucked for me because I got sick with bronchitis around Christmas for all of January. I hear you on letting that month go to hell. Especially this last one. Thank you for asking about the depression. I take meds for it and I really practice mindfulness in a lot of my lanes anymore. I have a wonderful therapist now for almost three years and she has helped me so much. But the blues are the blues and once you have them you will always have them, I think. I just try to be better at recognizing when they are rising up, you know? I hope you’re doing okay. I understand how much it sucks when we’re not.

*****

Is there a topic that you would like to write about but feel like you are not there yet (I mean, you are not ready to write about it because of some reason)?

Marko

Oh yeah. I think there are a bunch of things that I might like to write about someday but haven’t felt comfortable (or inclined) to pull up to yet. Here is where I suppose I could tell you what they are, huh?! Haha. I think I won’t though. I think I will save them in my Pouch of Secret Topics until the time is right.

*****

I know you may get this one often- but do you ever have any communication still with Bruce? Thank you, Serge, for being a true-blue rock n' roller- in every way. I am rooting for you and your family. You deserve all the happiness that we can get while we are on this Earth.

Julian

Thanks for the kind words. The answer to your question is: “Not really, no.” I was able to get backstage and introduce my wife, Arle, who is also a mega Bruce fan to him after one of the Broadway shows a few years back. That was the last time I got to speak with him. The thing is though, I love him so fucking much. He truly gave me some sort of strange mystical power to survive and thrive long ago through the extreme kindness him and Patti showed me and our band. It literally was life-changing just in the fact that it has allowed me, for many moons now, to feel validated as an artist and a human being by someone I have held in the highest regard since I was a punk-ass kid growing up in Conshohocken, PA.

I may never hear from Bruce again.

But also: I hear from him every ten minutes or so/ every day of my life/ forever.

*****

Love your work as you know, been reading your blog Thunder Pie for 15 years now. Can you please write about your biggest regret or your favorite food to cook?

Susan

For you, Susan, I will write about both!

My biggest regret, off the top of my head, is this. Once, at a Springsteen show at Shea Stadium, my brother and I had backstage passes. During the later part of the set, someone (I can’t recall who) happened to venture over to us and tell us that Bob Dylan was backstage and that he was probably going to perform with Bruce and the band.

Immediately, me and my brother went back there. And we walked around, trying to act cool and nonchalant. It’s a mesmerizing bizarre place to be: backstage at a Bruce show when the band is in full rockin’ mode on the stage. You are standing on the other side of the action. It sounds different and it looks like a ghost town and it’s wonderful and weird. The only other person we saw back there besides some security people lolly-gagging around was a dude in a leather jacket hanging in the shadows near the port-a-johns, probably smoking some weed or whatever. There was no sign of Bob Fucking Dylan. It was a no-go.

Later, Dylan came out on stage, He was wearing the leather jacket that we’d seen on the guy by the toilets. It had been him all along. Bob Dylan. Standing alone. By the pissers. We had missed our chance.

My fav food to cook is a Thai stir fry recipe that I learned from a cookbook by the brilliant Nigel Slater long ago. I have cooked it at least a thousand times. It is perfection, in my humble opinion.

*****

short one.

Better Riff: Beatin' Around the Bush or Riff Raff?

Bill

Holy shit that is a Sophie’s Choice of fat gorgeous sexy riffs if there ever was one. Grrrr. Ugh. Hmmmmmm. Grrrr. I think I’ll go with Beatin’ because it’s on Highway to Hell and that album was a game changer for me.

Which one would you pick?!

*****

(In reference to ‘My Place in the Pipes’ Thunder Pie, Feb 2, 2024) I am itching to ask if this is true or a pipe dream but it's incredibly serious and I don't want to downplay how therapeutic I hope this process was for you.

Anna

I adore how you phrased this. And it made me smile thinking about someone wondering what you’re wondering. With me, as you probably might have picked up by now, I mostly write the truth as I remember it. But there are times when I also find myself needing to use elements of fantasy in order to share with the reader my deepest wishes or desires/ even if that messes with the dimensions of where we are all standing together in the middle of the words, you know?

In that Pipes one, it was all true. Except some of it.

*****

Do you find the muse for writing more easily when it’s a self-managed weekly output?

Brian

Yes, I think I do. I used to write a lot more ‘content’ for some websites at a much more frequent pace. It was work and I’m glad I had it, but it was also a hard way to be a writer when all you really want to do is write your heart and your head instead of things that need to fit into a million different pigeonholes at once. These days, with Thunder Pie, the absolute unchained freedom of being able to write whatever the hell I want (or need) to write at any given time… it allows pure muse to engulf me as soon as I sit down at my laptop. I rarely think about what I’m going to write about before I actually sit down to do it. Sometimes it comes to me earlier, but a lot of times I ask it to wait until it’s go time/ do or die. I get off on the energy that comes from that spread out weekly independent feeling of spontaneous total DIY creation.

*****

Not really a question but can you give me 3 books I should read and why?

Marc

My mind changes all the time (as it should), but I can try.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford by Ron Hansen. Magnificent. It’s a masterwork of outlaws and psychology and American Legend mythos played out through the mind of a truly remarkable writer. It’s the only novel I ever read twice in a row.

Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. The greatest novel ever written? I don’t know. No one knows. Nobody can say for sure. But yes.

A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistery. Jeez. This novel is one of the most incredible modern novels I ever wandered through. It spills an India of diverse beauty and horror down on you in a way that I have never experienced any other book rain on me before. I used to stop every few pages to catch my breath under the gritty luminous weight of it all. To be honest, after I read this book I had a hard time with novels for a while. Nothing else could seem to measure up. That’s why I’ll probably never read it again. I can’t afford to risk these things.

*****

What was it like playing with Jon Wurster? Did you know he named you as one of the funniest musicians he ever played with?

John

Jon was a super dude and an excellent drummer. Playing live with him was so easy; he had the experience and he had the heart. I think we hit it off because we seemed to have a lot of the same things in mind when it came to laughing and comedy. He’s funny as hell and to have him say that about me makes me very happy. I have a better Philly accent than him though. ;)

*****

Is there a piece that you are particularly proud of? If I were to tell my friends to read about your stuff (which I have done), should they just start from the beginning or start with a particular story?

Marko

Well, great question. And I’m a bit ashamed to say that I’ve never actually thought about what you’re asking before. I guess my thing is that I just want someone to read my stuff, no matter where they start. And my stuff isn’t necessarily chronological either, you know? So I think a newbie could probably jump in anywhere and find out pretty quickly whether I’m for them or not.

I’m humble, or I try to be, so it isn’t easy for me to toot my own writing horn. But I have always been very proud of Fawn Bone Blues. There’s something in that one that still resonates a lot with me.

*****

When can we expect ThunderPie merch already??!

Anna

I need to get on this. I’m so glad you asked. What would people want? What would you buy from me? Shirts? Hoodies? A fanzine with a collection of older essays printed in it? Stickers? Tell me and I will try to get this quality merch show on the road.

*****

First congrats on three years - that’s a lot of words. What were you and Arle’s thoughts on seeing Bruce & E Street last year?

Tom P.

Thanks for the kind words. Seeing Bruce in Philly last March with Arle was one of the best nights of our lives. Having spent so many hours and conversations delving into the utter depths of our intense Bruce fandom together was really one of the backbones of our relationship from the very start. Honestly, I don’t know how either of us ever tried to be with people who didn’t know shit about E Street. What the fuck were we even thinking?! But in the end we found one another. Being able to go to the best city in the world, then, to finally watch our first full band Bruce show together from a spot in the pit just a few feet from the stage? That was something mega powerful for each of us. And for both of us.

We could have never done that without the extreme generosity of a really great guy. He is humble as hell and lives under the radar, but I just want to acknowledge that he gave us the most beautiful gift that night. He really did.

*****

Fave 5 books, of course... ((and... have you read The Revolution of Marina M. And The Chimes of a Lost Cathedral? And if not, why?))

Meghan

Okay, well, first off: I have NOT read those books! Nor have I even ever heard of them and now that you ask me why… I’m shrinking like a dumb ass because I don’t know why! Haha. But I will seek them out and try to get them onto my ever-growing list of things to read before I croak. Thanks for the heads up.

For my fave 5, I’ll just put two here since I included three others in someone else’s question up above.

Mountain Man by Vardis Fisher. This was the novel that Robert Redford based his seminal film, Jeremiah Johnson, on. What I love most about is is the role nature plays. Its a character here, not a setting, and I think that that’s how nature ought to be portrayed. At least more often than it is. This book is loving and tough and it leads into some flowers and some blizzards and it all feels wild and free and scary like a real wilderness.

Seven Steeples by Sara Baume. I discovered Sara Baume a few years ago and read everything by her (fiction and non-fiction) that I could get my hands on. Baume, and Irish writer, is yet another master of rolling the natural world into her prose in elegant breezy ways that never feel forced even if you have no clue what the fuck weed she is talking about. I’m addicted to that feeling/ to then sense of getting lost in someone else’s windswept word woods. This is a kind of love story about two people who may or may not be right for each other. It’s slow and rainy and gentle and sad, like everything good.

*****

Things I Loved This Week.

I watched this video of the last half hour or so leading up to the death of Arthur Morgan at the end of the wild west game Red Dead Redemption 2 with my son Henry. Henry is a rabid fan and player of RDD2. I understand why. The game looks and feels better than most western films. And what I saw with my own eyes: Morgan’s death upon the screen after a harrowing heart-breaking lead-up, it was the epitome of tragic pathos outlaw beauty. Watching Henry next to me on the couch, talking so passionately about the long and winding journey of insanely gorgeous art and epic story that this game took him on… that was a real highlight of an otherwise challenging week for me.
This live version of ‘Misunderstanding’ from Genesis’ 1981 Abacab Tour is almost unbelievable/ it’s THAT fucking magnificent. Phil Collin’s voice/ his presence/ his English Soul/ it was all unstoppable here. Flawless. The song itself is Motown Prog. I have always been madly in love with the tune, but stumbling on this footage this past week has hooked me all over again, decades after the first time I fell hard for it.
Arle gifted me three giant bottles of Sirichia. We haven’t had any in these parts for a long time. I never see it in the grocery store. There are conspiracy theories galore out there as to why the best sauce on earth is impossible to get anymore. But she found me some. And she won’t tell me where. Or how. WTF is going on?
My stepkid, Milla, finished a hat she had been working on sewing/creating from scratch. It’s super badass. Here’s a photo of the designer and her masterpiece…
Lastly, I found a stunning vintage cake tin in wonderful shape at a junk store for $4.99. It made me feel like a god when I saw it sitting there staring at me from it’s perch on a crowded shelf. Lots of people would turn around and sell something like this right away but not me. When I die I want my ashes to be made into a chocolate cake by Arle and then the cake is put into this cake tin and the cake tin is dropped off in the woods far away from where any people might find it for a long time. Then I will be eaten by critters and bugs and creatures and maybe an Amish hiker (they eat anything) and so I will live on and on in the bodies of excessively wild things. All for $4.99.