5 Comments

I totally dig the audio option. Also, thanks for shout out to the new Cure single. Disintegration was released my freshman year of college. And this track really takes me back to that sonic place. It's truly fantastic. Thanks Serge, as is often the case, you made my Friday brighter on this gloomy PA afternoon.

Expand full comment

Thank you, Tom. I appreciate hearing from you on the audio option. I'm hoping more chime in if they dig it. Also: yeah, the Cure tune is very Disintegration/ which/ for my money/ is just fine. Have a good week, sir.

Expand full comment

Hey hey! I love the audio option. I listened and read along, which bathe best way for me, because I do love seeing the written word. And it never occurred to me that the pronunciation was Arl-ee. Eep. My bad. I have an ex-sister-in-law (is that what we called those folks?) named Arlene and we’ve always called her Arl, and I guess I just assumed Arle was pronounced the same way. Anyway, I dug listening very much. And the Philly accent just added to it all. Note: I’d suggest folks listen to the audio at the bottom of the essay rather than clicking on the photo link (kinda like YouTube), at the top of the essay. The photo version sounded oddly AI’ed.

I went through my own divorce a few months shy of 14 years ago. My kids were older, and there was a whole level of having let them all down that went with my experience. The look on my 14-year-old son’s face that said, “I can’t believe you’re going to leave us here with *her*” that’s seared into my memory and digs daggers into my heart whenever I think of it. I think folks don’t ask about your (I’m using the Royal your here) divorce because it’s like a death; unless they’re in your inner circle they don’t know how to approach the subject; what to say. “How’re you doing?” probably feels so platitudinous a thing to ask. “Do you need anything?” perhaps a sincere but empty offer. Because no one’s gonna give you that extra $1000/mo that’s gonna pull you through. I ate those dollar store tuna and crackers snack packs everyday for lunch for months just so I could have food in the house for when my kids were there (Mondays, Wednesdays and every other weekend). And no one gave a shit. My coworkers would joke and ask if I was eating cat food for lunch. And I didn’t make a big deal about it, because you just do what you’ve gotta do. Because that’s your job. And it’s hard as shit a lot of the time. I’d lie in bed those first few years, when my child support payments were more than a two week paycheck, four a.m., anxiety racing through my blood like lightning, wondering if it was ever gonna end; trying to think of some way to pull a George Bailey. But life moves forward. And eventually things ease up. You can breathe again. And all the silent sacrifices are eventually noted and appreciated. Not that that’s why you did—it’s your job, man—but it’s nice to have your efforts recognized; to hear (from that same ex-SiL), “we didn’t know how much you did at the time”. It’s a river we’re on. Flowing forward, always. You have to ride it and do your best to traverse those rapids, not let ‘em smash your skull on the rocks just below the surface, and remember there are also those placid smooth as glass parts as well.

Thanks as always for the words and the incredible imagery (that first snow bit was ::chef’s kiss::). Have a good week.

Expand full comment

Hey Tom, thanks so much for chiming in. Everything you wrote about your own years as a divorced parent really resonates. It's good for me to have others who get it. It means a lot. So thank you for sharing.

You wrote" Note: I’d suggest folks listen to the audio at the bottom of the essay rather than clicking on the photo link (kinda like YouTube), at the top of the essay. The photo version sounded oddly AI’ed." I appreciate this too because I didn't know anything about that! In fact, I still have to go and check out what it is you're talking about. It sounds shitty and automatic and not something I dig at all. I was under the impression that the audio feed I uploaded would be it/ nothing else. Oh well. Always something, right? Again, good lookin' out. I'll check it on my end. Have a cool week, Tom.

Expand full comment

The audio option is a real treat. Listened to it twice. This one may be your best work. It was so honest it hurt. That's how you write. I'm with you on the Journey.

Expand full comment