CougarPineBeaverDeath. My left hand is numb lately. My whole left arm feels strange to be honest. It started a few weeks ago, just when the mega rapid heartbeat days from Christmas stress were winding down. I Googled it, “slightly numb left hand” and “pins and needles fingertips” and “left hand heart attack signs” but nothing clicked. I don’t know. There is a part of each of us, I know, that wants to do our very best to avoid health issues. Once we hit 50, we are bombarded with all the things we need to be doing in order to live on.
Fantastic! Four new pieces to digest and milk over today! Bravo.
Now, about aging, i’m 62 1/2, and I don’t know what that means other than I will likely not be here in another 30 years. Then again…? Who knows? But you do get to an age where you start to question the pains and aches (and man, I hiatal hernia sure, feels like it could maybe be a heart attack the first time you feel that pain in your chest), or that ache down your left bicep (and Man, it’s always the left!) Or the time I had that weird numbing of the left side of my mouth, including my teeth(I told you man it’s always the left). And how I was up all last night with indigestion, because I had a giant sub from Jersey Mike’s, which, of course, was my own doing. And more often than not a, just like everybody else, will ignore these things, because once the pain or the discomfort is gone, it’s you know outta sight outta mind. Apparently the wisdom that comes with age only applies to the wisdom you share with others and don’t put to use for yourself.
Ah, coparenting. They tell you it’s the best way to soften the blow of divorce for your kids. What they don’t tell you is that you’re trying to do this with somebody who you dislike enough to fucking divorce. Yeah, it’s a battle, just because you got divorced, doesn’t mean all of those things and all those issues you disagreed on have evaporated. It just heightens the surety that you were right about each other all along. They, whoever they are, sure would like to tell you how to do things in your life, what is best, the “right” thing to do. Everybody has their own journey. And everybody’s journey is unique to themselves. We do the best we can in any given situation. You just keep on keeping on my friend.
You always make me smile/think with your astute observations, Tom. I love that share them and I hope you never stop.
" And more often than not a, just like everybody else, will ignore these things, because once the pain or the discomfort is gone, it’s you know outta sight outta mind."
My Dad mentioned that the B&O Museum has some Civil War-era engines along with cars. He thinks most of them were scraped, but it might be worth a look into the museum to see if they have records of the engines/cars that were used.
“I want to see my failing body as a monument to all the work I have done here. I have accomplished some shit, you know? I have held space and been poisoned and cut and I have treated myself like a peasant thug so many times when I should have been looking deeper into the experience itself/ the fantastical experience of being me.” Yes. ♥️
Love these snippets. Kind worked better for me this week since I'm a little scattered.
As per the numbness, I've been there, and amazingly, when I go to the chiropractor, it fixes it for a while. But it's scary as fuck when your body starts doing shit and you don't know what's going on. Its like tiny demons are dancing inside your cells wreaking havoc and you can't control them and they're laughing at you.
Oh, my, so much to unpack here. It is…interesting…what happens to our bodies as we age. For no apparent reason, my toes have declared war on me. My freakin’ toes. Everybody I know is constantly saying “What?” because we all stood too close to the speakers at concerts. Still stand too close to speakers, but now I geek out and wear ear plugs. One of my favorite lines about getting older is “aging ain’t for sissies.” Be brave and “do not
go gently into that dark night.” All of which makes me want to say love more fiercely. Keep holding your kids and wife as tightly as you do. And keep writing it all down. It’s golden.
Having recently crossed 60, the mental advantages of getting older are still outweighing the physical disadvantages. Yours is an interesting take on the physical portion - I still have a lot that I want to do in life that requires a decent level of health and ability, so the inevitable aches, pains, etc, are less fascinating. But yeah, watching all that in third party mode is a pretty unique approach.
"... I still have a lot that I want to do in life that requires a decent level of health and ability, so the inevitable aches, pains, etc, are less fascinating."
I love that, man. I think I'm with you. But I can't stop staring at my disintegration either.
That's a great song/ I have always dug it. Thanks Ed. I appreciate you comparing me to Guy. I'm keeping that one for a rainy day. Have a great week, buddy.
Right??? What DO we call this stuff I'm putting out?? Ha. I don't know. Blog sounded so...dead frog. So I went with essays. But who knows. Thanks for the kind words, Lauren. I really appreciate them.
Fantastic! Four new pieces to digest and milk over today! Bravo.
Now, about aging, i’m 62 1/2, and I don’t know what that means other than I will likely not be here in another 30 years. Then again…? Who knows? But you do get to an age where you start to question the pains and aches (and man, I hiatal hernia sure, feels like it could maybe be a heart attack the first time you feel that pain in your chest), or that ache down your left bicep (and Man, it’s always the left!) Or the time I had that weird numbing of the left side of my mouth, including my teeth(I told you man it’s always the left). And how I was up all last night with indigestion, because I had a giant sub from Jersey Mike’s, which, of course, was my own doing. And more often than not a, just like everybody else, will ignore these things, because once the pain or the discomfort is gone, it’s you know outta sight outta mind. Apparently the wisdom that comes with age only applies to the wisdom you share with others and don’t put to use for yourself.
Ah, coparenting. They tell you it’s the best way to soften the blow of divorce for your kids. What they don’t tell you is that you’re trying to do this with somebody who you dislike enough to fucking divorce. Yeah, it’s a battle, just because you got divorced, doesn’t mean all of those things and all those issues you disagreed on have evaporated. It just heightens the surety that you were right about each other all along. They, whoever they are, sure would like to tell you how to do things in your life, what is best, the “right” thing to do. Everybody has their own journey. And everybody’s journey is unique to themselves. We do the best we can in any given situation. You just keep on keeping on my friend.
You always make me smile/think with your astute observations, Tom. I love that share them and I hope you never stop.
" And more often than not a, just like everybody else, will ignore these things, because once the pain or the discomfort is gone, it’s you know outta sight outta mind."
So goddamn true.
PS: I’m checking into the train question. Got a Civil War buff in my family along with train buffs. The answers must be there..
Oh wow/ fantastic! Let me know what you find out, Lindsey! Thank you so much.
My Dad mentioned that the B&O Museum has some Civil War-era engines along with cars. He thinks most of them were scraped, but it might be worth a look into the museum to see if they have records of the engines/cars that were used.
Thank you/ and your Dad so much, Lindsey. I’m gonna look into the museum. Please tell him I tip my hat his way.
“I want to see my failing body as a monument to all the work I have done here. I have accomplished some shit, you know? I have held space and been poisoned and cut and I have treated myself like a peasant thug so many times when I should have been looking deeper into the experience itself/ the fantastical experience of being me.” Yes. ♥️
:)
Love these snippets. Kind worked better for me this week since I'm a little scattered.
As per the numbness, I've been there, and amazingly, when I go to the chiropractor, it fixes it for a while. But it's scary as fuck when your body starts doing shit and you don't know what's going on. Its like tiny demons are dancing inside your cells wreaking havoc and you can't control them and they're laughing at you.
Thanks, Kate. It's nice knowing I'm not the only scatter-brain falling apart. :)
Oh, my, so much to unpack here. It is…interesting…what happens to our bodies as we age. For no apparent reason, my toes have declared war on me. My freakin’ toes. Everybody I know is constantly saying “What?” because we all stood too close to the speakers at concerts. Still stand too close to speakers, but now I geek out and wear ear plugs. One of my favorite lines about getting older is “aging ain’t for sissies.” Be brave and “do not
go gently into that dark night.” All of which makes me want to say love more fiercely. Keep holding your kids and wife as tightly as you do. And keep writing it all down. It’s golden.
Thank you so much, Taryn. I'm so hard of hearing at this point that we had to buy speakers for our TV. And my vision? Ugh.
Lol. If misery loves company, you are not alone!
"Write a comment..." it says. OK, sure.
Having recently crossed 60, the mental advantages of getting older are still outweighing the physical disadvantages. Yours is an interesting take on the physical portion - I still have a lot that I want to do in life that requires a decent level of health and ability, so the inevitable aches, pains, etc, are less fascinating. But yeah, watching all that in third party mode is a pretty unique approach.
Hugs to Violet. Love never fails.
"... I still have a lot that I want to do in life that requires a decent level of health and ability, so the inevitable aches, pains, etc, are less fascinating."
I love that, man. I think I'm with you. But I can't stop staring at my disintegration either.
Violet - Parenting is hard stuff. You have my respect. She will understand some day, I'm sure of it. Maybe she already does?
Old Things - reminded me of a great Guy Clark song -
"Stuff that works, stuff that holds up
The kind of stuff you don't hang on the wall
Stuff that's real, stuff you feel
The kind of stuff you reach for when you fall"
That's a great song/ I have always dug it. Thanks Ed. I appreciate you comparing me to Guy. I'm keeping that one for a rainy day. Have a great week, buddy.
Favorite one of these posts* yet.
(*essays? blogs? whatever, you know - - this thing you're doing. This is a good one.)
Right??? What DO we call this stuff I'm putting out?? Ha. I don't know. Blog sounded so...dead frog. So I went with essays. But who knows. Thanks for the kind words, Lauren. I really appreciate them.