On November 1st, God willing I will be sober 20 years. As someone who has also suffered from depression, is on meds, and has been in therapy on an off for 40 years, life without alcohol has definitiely enabled me to handle life in a better way. Not perfect. Not without turmoil. But never bad enough that I've wanted to pick up.
PS: Your children will never know abandonment. You have proven yourself ny nature a present, loving sensible and involved dad. And a great example of a loving husband and friend. You do the best you can with the more sincere intent. The bullies can kick rocks.
Tom Flannery said it simplest and truest. We’re here—even if we’re out in the ether—and we have your back. Water seeks its level. Dust settles. The truth will out. Bullshit? Perhaps. Karma? Yes. It ain’t instant (sorry, John; although there can be immediate consequences to certain behaviors), but I’ve lived it. I’ve seen those who’ve treated others like shit and projected their shitty behaviors onto others (me, in the example I’m talking about) and blamed everyone, without an ounce of emotional intelligence or compassion, “get theirs”, as we used to say. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, you and your kids (step included) and Arle. What do you say? What can you say? “Hang in there”? “Tomorrow’s another day”? I dunno. But as someone somewhere once observed, be it good or bad, “this too shall pass”. So there’s that. And you’ve built a community here who, I’d like to think, legitimately cares about you and your family and your well being. You are not alone.
I've also wondered about "The purpose of the existence of something as wickedly odd" as mental illness / depression and all its kin. I don't get the "strangely poetic" aspect of it - I still love Van Gogh but nowadays I just don't think good art is worth the torment. But I can't see the purpose and I consider myself a pretty open minded guy.
I hope that your writing this week helped cleanse / shed / release things a bit for you. Seems like it from this side of the monitor. And I love seeing the dedication to Arle up front, and love seeing the love there. It's all you need, allegedly. So said somebody once.
Thanks Vince. Hmm. I suppose maybe we differ here when we talk about art/ mental health. Or perhaps it's just something that occurs, a shift in vantage so to speak, when two people approach the same thing from different situations. As for my take: I don't think "good art is worth the torment" either. I agree with you there. But I also don't believe that there is much (if any) choice involved in that transaction between an artist and the work they create short of the decision of whether to make the art or not. For instance I have never thought that van Gogh had any kind of designs on being sad or troubled or whatever. I don't think his blues was a branding thing. Ha. Same goes for Robert Johnson or Sylvia Plath or, I don't know, pick one. There are trillions, I'm guessing, who have been mad as a fish but also created art despite their mental troubles/ to spite their mental troubles. The line drawn between the artist and the art lover is so intricate and personal in so many ways that sometimes I get to thinking that maybe one person seeing themselves (troubled or in love or just looking at the stars) in someone else's words or music or painting or whatever is the single most important line between two people that can exist in any lifetime. The cleansing and the shedding of an artist's mental health that you refer to in your comment is where the art itself is born as an idea/ a notion unfulfilled. And that alone isn't the choice the artist ever makes. The choice, I am sure, lies strictly in the yes or no decision to create something out of the hurt one has no choice in feeling.
Man, these are the posts that I love and crave. Where you sit at your keyboard and just let your soul bleed out, writing hard and fast and passionately about what hurts - about truth. [I’m sure you know the quote/source]. As one that’s spent a lifetime trying to write about depression and the difficulty of the human experience, of relationships, of the soul, and the hell that humans create for each other - of heartache, betrayal - trying to show how it looks, what it feels like, what it creates, how it breathes - and even defend why it needs a voice - thank you. You are being heard loud and clear by so many, myself included. What you have to say matters, greatly. And for what it’s worth, I’m raising a glass to you, and putting up my three fingers like in Hunger Games, as a salute of respect and thanks, as a symbol of brotherhood, of compassion, from one that is also bound by the chains of our old friend the darkness, but encouraging resistance and wishing you strength in the battle ahead. I see you. We all do. And we are beyond grateful that you are here.
Keep bleeding, my friend. Sometimes it’s through the darkness where we find the most light.
On November 1st, God willing I will be sober 20 years. As someone who has also suffered from depression, is on meds, and has been in therapy on an off for 40 years, life without alcohol has definitiely enabled me to handle life in a better way. Not perfect. Not without turmoil. But never bad enough that I've wanted to pick up.
That is awesome, Lisa. I’m so happy that you found what works for you. ❤️
All I can say is.....and I'm surely not the only one who feels this way......
I got your back my friend. Every WEEK I feel like I owe you for what's written here. Keep on.....
Thanks so much, Tom. I appreciate that.
You have a great big soul indeed. Keeping writing and screaming your truth. I hear you. The people who love you hear you.
I'm grateful, Ed. Thank you very much.
PS: Your children will never know abandonment. You have proven yourself ny nature a present, loving sensible and involved dad. And a great example of a loving husband and friend. You do the best you can with the more sincere intent. The bullies can kick rocks.
Keep speaking your truth. We’re listening.
Thank you, Taryn. That means so much to me.
I choose Serge. I'd wear that on a shirt.
Thank you, my friend. :)
Tom Flannery said it simplest and truest. We’re here—even if we’re out in the ether—and we have your back. Water seeks its level. Dust settles. The truth will out. Bullshit? Perhaps. Karma? Yes. It ain’t instant (sorry, John; although there can be immediate consequences to certain behaviors), but I’ve lived it. I’ve seen those who’ve treated others like shit and projected their shitty behaviors onto others (me, in the example I’m talking about) and blamed everyone, without an ounce of emotional intelligence or compassion, “get theirs”, as we used to say. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, you and your kids (step included) and Arle. What do you say? What can you say? “Hang in there”? “Tomorrow’s another day”? I dunno. But as someone somewhere once observed, be it good or bad, “this too shall pass”. So there’s that. And you’ve built a community here who, I’d like to think, legitimately cares about you and your family and your well being. You are not alone.
Tom, your words always mean a lot to me. Thank you, man. I really mean it.
Raw indeed.
I've also wondered about "The purpose of the existence of something as wickedly odd" as mental illness / depression and all its kin. I don't get the "strangely poetic" aspect of it - I still love Van Gogh but nowadays I just don't think good art is worth the torment. But I can't see the purpose and I consider myself a pretty open minded guy.
I hope that your writing this week helped cleanse / shed / release things a bit for you. Seems like it from this side of the monitor. And I love seeing the dedication to Arle up front, and love seeing the love there. It's all you need, allegedly. So said somebody once.
See ya next week.
Thanks Vince. Hmm. I suppose maybe we differ here when we talk about art/ mental health. Or perhaps it's just something that occurs, a shift in vantage so to speak, when two people approach the same thing from different situations. As for my take: I don't think "good art is worth the torment" either. I agree with you there. But I also don't believe that there is much (if any) choice involved in that transaction between an artist and the work they create short of the decision of whether to make the art or not. For instance I have never thought that van Gogh had any kind of designs on being sad or troubled or whatever. I don't think his blues was a branding thing. Ha. Same goes for Robert Johnson or Sylvia Plath or, I don't know, pick one. There are trillions, I'm guessing, who have been mad as a fish but also created art despite their mental troubles/ to spite their mental troubles. The line drawn between the artist and the art lover is so intricate and personal in so many ways that sometimes I get to thinking that maybe one person seeing themselves (troubled or in love or just looking at the stars) in someone else's words or music or painting or whatever is the single most important line between two people that can exist in any lifetime. The cleansing and the shedding of an artist's mental health that you refer to in your comment is where the art itself is born as an idea/ a notion unfulfilled. And that alone isn't the choice the artist ever makes. The choice, I am sure, lies strictly in the yes or no decision to create something out of the hurt one has no choice in feeling.
Man, these are the posts that I love and crave. Where you sit at your keyboard and just let your soul bleed out, writing hard and fast and passionately about what hurts - about truth. [I’m sure you know the quote/source]. As one that’s spent a lifetime trying to write about depression and the difficulty of the human experience, of relationships, of the soul, and the hell that humans create for each other - of heartache, betrayal - trying to show how it looks, what it feels like, what it creates, how it breathes - and even defend why it needs a voice - thank you. You are being heard loud and clear by so many, myself included. What you have to say matters, greatly. And for what it’s worth, I’m raising a glass to you, and putting up my three fingers like in Hunger Games, as a salute of respect and thanks, as a symbol of brotherhood, of compassion, from one that is also bound by the chains of our old friend the darkness, but encouraging resistance and wishing you strength in the battle ahead. I see you. We all do. And we are beyond grateful that you are here.
Keep bleeding, my friend. Sometimes it’s through the darkness where we find the most light.
Thanks a lot, Gina. I really appreciate your words. :)